4 AM EST

It's 4 AM in NYC and I'm still up, which I suppose is not really saying much when you reside in the city that never sleeps. And I guess that if I lived the Sex in the City lifestyle saying that I'm up at this time would be followed by steamy story of partying the night away. But I'm not Keri and my life is more like Dry Humping in the City, you know, all the drama and hijinks of Sex in the City only with rub burns and no Jimmy Choos.

Now don't get me wrong there's the no other place I'd rather be or live, and the saying is true if you can make it anywhere. But that's mostly because you make so much more money working in NYC then any other place, on average. However, that's completely offset by the fact that on average New Yorkers spend more than half of their earnings on rent. In NYC the only difference poor and middle class, is that the poor people can't get credit.

Which brings me to why I am up so late, I feel like I just don't know enough like there so much information, so many new things to look at new games, books, movies, shows, cars, clothes, and the list goes and on. I often find myself coming home and sitting in front of my home computer after sitting in front of my work computer all day; looking up information, doing work or just fucking around. Today was one of those days, I've must have spent more than 10 hours in front of a computer.

I truly wonder what this means. How this much constant information and bombarment of messages is doing to me as a human being. I don't go out without having my iPod with me, my earphones on, avidly searching for my favorite tracks. What happened to the days when you listened to music at home? Or live at a ballroom or concert? I tune the hussle and bussle of the city out with my music high, there are times when I worry that I might go def by the time that I'm 40. Especially when my doctor said "if you keep listenig to your iPod too loudly you will go def by the time you're 40."

So this need to tune things out is because of the overwhelming amount of messages that I take in just in one day alone. Just looking out my window I could easily see one huge billboard promoting Wicked, and another three on the street. Its hard enough to stay focused on the day ahead, on my responsibilities and proper role in a solely profit driven society is somewhat of a soul-sucker (i.e. that which sucks the very spirit out of your life and you wonder it's very point and purpose.)

It gets to be too much sometimes so I tune it ouout, to function, survive and thrive. But there are days and weeks like this where it seems I've lost the strength to tune it out, and that's the moment advertisers wait for.

And that's what I think about at 4 am on Saturday morning as I wait for sleep to take hold of my eyes.